Stupid funny essays

As soon as you start blaming other people or the universe itself you distance yourself from any possible lesson.

Stupid funny essays

Forty-nine of us, forty-eight men and one woman, lay on the green waiting for the spike to open. We were too tired to talk much.

We just sprawled about exhaustedly, with home-made cigarettes sticking out of our scrubby faces. Overhead the chestnut branches were covered with blossom, and beyond that great woolly clouds floated almost motionless in a clear sky.

Littered on the grass, we seemed dingy, urban riff-raff. We defiled the scene, like sardine-tins and paper bags on the seashore. What talk there was ran on the Tramp Major of this spike.

He was a devil, everyone agreed, a tartar, a tyrant, a bawling, blasphemous, uncharitable dog. When You, came to be searched, he fair held you upside down and shook you. If you were caught with tobacco there was bell to. Pay, and if you went in with money which is against the law God help you.

I had eightpence on me. Then we set about smuggling our matches and tobacco, for it is forbidden to take these into nearly all spikes, and one is supposed to surrender them at the gate. We hid them in our socks, except for the twenty or so per cent who had no socks, and had to carry the tobacco in their boots, even under their very toes.

We stuffed our ankles with contraband until anyone seeing us might have imagined an outbreak of elephantiasis. But is an unwritten law that even the sternest Tramp Majors do not search below the knee, and in the end only one man was caught.

This was Scotty, a little hairy tramp with a bastard accent sired by cockney out of Glasgow. His tin of cigarette ends fell out of his sock at the wrong moment, and was impounded.

At six, the gates swung open and we shuffled in. An official at the gate entered our names and other particulars in the register and took our bundles away from us. The woman was sent off to the workhouse, and we others into the spike. It was a gloomy, chilly, limewashed place, consisting only of a bathroom and dining-room and about a hundred narrow stone cells.

The terrible Tramp Major met us at the door and herded us into the bathroom to be stripped and searched.

Be Sarcastic

He was a gruff, soldierly man of forty, who gave the tramps no more ceremony than sheep at the dipping-pond, shoving them this way and that and shouting oaths in their faces. But when he came to myself, he looked hard at me, and said: He gave me another long look.

It was a disgusting sight, that bathroom.Free narrative papers, essays, and research papers. Voltaire's Candide versus Gronniosaw's A Narrative - Although Voltaire and Gronniosaw are similar in that their quest for enlightenment and individuality, they are also very different.

Alfonso Cuarón Orozco (b. 28 November, in Mexico City, Mexico) is a Mexican film director. He directed the third Harry Potter film in the successful Harry Potter series, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban.

Prior to directing the series, he had not read any of the books within the.

Funny Essays Examples

Fifty Orwell Essays, by George Orwell, free ebook. Jan 23,  · This may seem an odd moment to bring up the subject of Billy Joel. But the recent death of the painter Andrew Wyeth revived a long-standing debate over. Responses to “How to Learn From Your Mistakes”. William Siong March 29, at pm. Permalink..

Hi Scott, an excellent article about Mistakes, which is why I hyperlinked it from my article. You might want to check out the URL as there are 2 empty spaces in your link.

Stupid funny essays

Funniest College Essays - To Ease the Tension. ifisher18 Registered User Posts: Junior Member. October edited April in College Essays. They're pretty funny. Haha I just realized that the only people who would read this comment are the people who already read the essays.

Lol.

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